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You’ll never be closer to anyone else in your life than you are to your spouse, but that doesn’t mean you should tell him absolutely everything. There are some confessions that are best kept secret – for his sake, your sake and the sake of your marriage.
It’s important to be open with your significant other, but when you’re faced with deciding whether to tell your sweetheart your secrets, avoid letting these three slip:
1. Your true feelings about past boyfriends
Sure, tell him standard details like how many boyfriends you’ve had, their names, how long you dated, etc. But avoid going into the lovely details – don’t say things like, “Our relationship together was so exhilarating and amazing” or “He was an amazing kisser.”
For several reasons. First off, the little green monster of jealousy will definitely come into play, and despite what some people say, jealous feelings do not benefit marriages. And perhaps more importantly, you could make your husband self-conscious and even hurt his feelings. Your old relationships should stay in the past now that you’ve found your one and only.
2. You’ve noticed he’s gained a little weight
For many couples, the little joke about post marriage weight gain is your new reality. But even if he’s gone up a pant size or two, there’s no need to tell him that you’d wish he’d lose some weight.
Sometimes, women can forget that body image comments aren’t just hurtful for females, they can also harm men. Even if you don’t struggle with body image problems yourself, imagine if your husband told you he noticed you’ve been gaining weight and he wished you’d hit the gym more.
Of course, we can want our spouse to be healthy. If you see your spouse is letting their health go a bit, you can encourage them through your own example and by inviting (not telling) them to join you in some healthy habits.
3. The little things he does that annoy you
If something he does is bugging you, truly ask yourself if it’s a big deal. Things like putting the toilet paper roll on “upside down”, or forgetting to turn off a light don’t really matter. If you can take a deep breath and let it go, do it. Of course, if it is a big deal to you, tell him lovingly tell him why it agitates you. Otherwise, keep that comment to yourself.
Why not? Tiny situations like this are simply not worth an argument or any amount of marital contention. Always choose love over confrontation. Think of it as serving your spouse – he probably does the same for you every now and then.
Your marriage will be much happier and healthier when you choose wisely what to share with your husband. (Of course, the same goes for husbands and what they tell their wives). So, be open and share just about everything with your spouse, but keep these three secrets to yourself.